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Posts Tagged ‘women in business’

Working with your spouse

Jill Coyle

Jill Coyle

While leading a talented group of female entrepreneurs at the Women in Business conference in September, I learned that 4 of the 6 entrepreneurs on the stage (myself included) worked with their spouses.

This led to some interesting discussion as one of the panelists shared that she’d actually had to “fire” her husband and tell him to go start his own business.

Here are some of the things we female entrepreneurs shared about the joys and challenges of working with our husbands.

Some of the challenges

Work doesn’t stop.

One panelist shared that she and her husband had a difficult time leaving work at the office. They continued to discuss work over dinner, during vacation, on Saturday, etc.

Home life can spill over into work

If a husband and wife are having a “discussion” (oh, alright, let’s call it a “fight”), we often find it challenging to not let that fight affect our relationship once we’re in the office.

Personality conflict

For some business/marriage partners, working together brought out the best in them – they balanced each other perfectly, offset each other’s weaknesses, etc. For some, it was a major clash of the titans -  they drove each other so crazy that they had to dissolve the partnership…or totally risk their marriage. As one woman so aptly put it, “I can be married to you – I just can’t be your business partner!”

The joys

Total trust

One great thing about being business partners with your spouse is that (most likely) you totally trust your spouse. I’ve heard so many horror-stories, especially in China, about “partners” running off and stealing the whole business. That’s a lot less likely to happen when you are married to your business partner.

Balance each other

For this group of women anyway, most of them talked about how they work so well with their spouse. One person handles the staff, the other the sales and output; their strengths go hand in hand. They’re able to build each other up – and soften some of the rough edges.

Sharing

One great thing about building a successful company with your spouse is that you do it together. It is something you accomplish together – you can put your arm around your business partner and say, “Wow, look what we are doing together!”

What about you? Do you work with your spouse (or have you done so in the past)? Share with us some of your stories.

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Posted in : Business Relationships, Entrepreneurs, Leadership

What impact did becoming a working Mom have on your career?

Jill Coyle

Jill Coyle

Several times in the past we have mentioned the benefits of belonging to a business community, especially if you are an entrepreneur. If you work in a corporate environment, there are built in connections that an entrepreneur does not have access to. The Women in Business network here in Beijing has been a great networking and relationship building group for us.

If meeting with a group in person is difficult for you, there are always online options. LinkedIn is an online community with myriad opportunities to connect with and learn from others. The Women in Business LinkedIn group has a lot of great conversations about the issues that affect working women, especially in China.

One issue close to the hearts of many working women is, of course, how to combine your career with raising children. This topic really got me thinking, so I’m sharing my response to it here as well.

I think being a working mum is one of the toughest jobs out there – trying to constantly balance the growing demands of both kids and work. For me, just when I think I’ve got everything “balanced” – things change again (a kid needs more help with homework, a special work project needs extra attention, etc). And the balancing act starts again….

I find this a great challenge.

Many women’s “career phases” correlate with “life phases” (life phases – single, married, pregnant, maternity leave, new baby, nursing, toddler, etc) – and it’s taken a long time for companies to “catch up” with the idea that their company is losing a great deal when they write mothers off (for taking leave, for working part-time when kids are small, etc).

I believe every woman needs to decide for herself what her priorities are – what is best for herself, for her children, for her family; I realize, however, that some women don’t have a choice – they have to go back to work.

For me, I decided early on that I wanted to be a part of raising my children, especially when they were small (my two girls are 5 and 2). I am extremely fortunate in being an entrepreneur, so I have more flexibility in my working hours. Several mornings a week, I spend dedicated time with my two girls (and I usually take on extra work in the evenings to make up for lost time). My staff know that I am not always in the office. It is not always easy to keep to this schedule, but this is what works for me, based on my priorities and life decisions.

I would love to hear your thoughts on balancing motherhood and career.
What do YOU do?

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Posted in : Community, Entrepreneurs

Interview with Jill Coyle on “Expat Women” website

Jill Coyle was recently interviewed by Expat Women for the business ideas section of their website. The interview is now live on the site; you can read it here

Jill Coyle

Jill Coyle

Here’s a sneak peek – Jill’s 5 tips for women starting a business abroad:

1) Find support in all phases of your business

2) Take charge of your leadership development

3) “Do it afraid”

4) Create a plan that will make time for you

5) Discover your strength zone

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Posted in : Business in China, Entrepreneurs, International Business

Jill Coyle speaking at Women in Business Conference 2010

Jill Coyle

Jill Coyle

Jill Coyle will be one of 30 speakers participating in this year’s Women in Business Conference in Beijing next Thursday, September 16th.

This, the 3rd annual conference, will have a range of sessions with topics such as “Two Jobs at Once: the Working Mother” and “Leading Change through Innovation and Creativity”.

Jill, winner of the 2010 WiB People’s Choice Entrepreneur of the Year award, will be moderating the panel on “The Entrepreneur’s Leadership Challenge: Quality Teams”.

Click here to register for the conference.

Jill poses with other award winners

Jill poses with other award winners

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Posted in : Business in China, Entrepreneurs

Online Networking for Entrepreneurs

Tanya Crossman

Tanya Crossman

Something we often talk about in connection with good entrepreneurship is the need for connecting with other businesspeople. That’s what networking is all about – connecting with others for mutual benefit.

Talking to others can help in a variety of ways. Sharing your problems with others can help change your perspective. Connecting to someone with more experience can lend crucial insights that change your direction.

Crucially, as an entrepreneur there is no corporate system to support you. You are in charge of your own leadership development. Networking gives you access to resources, support, and advice that you can’t find within your own company.

In our digital age, entrepreneurs can and do work from just about anywhere. This geographic isolation does not, however, have to limit the opportunity to gain from networking – just take it online! While meeting with people  in person is of course beneficial, when your opportunities to do so are limited, online business communities can be a great source of support, advice, and idea-sharing.

LinkedIn is a tool we use for connecting with other businesspeople in our area. There are many groups that facilitate discussion about topics that affect everyone in the group.

As an example of the sort of quality discussions you can get involved in via this sort of online community, here’s some comments Jill made this week in a Women in Business LinkedIn group discussion on motivating staff:

Jill Coyle

Jill Coyle

I have seen several things work with different staff. For some, they flounder in their job description until they figure out how it fits in with the bigger picture (value motivates them). For others, seeing where this project is taking them (and the company) is highly motivating (the path is motivating). Sometimes, it takes “ownership” of a special project for the employee to really come alive in their job.

One of the things I’ve learned, however, is that each person is INDIVIDUAL – the “rules” don’t work in the same way with everybody. Some people are motivated by the pressure of a deadline, others by the safe structure of a nice little job description, some by having something “new” to do every day, etc. This shouldn’t be a surprise (but to a lot of employers, it IS) – people are all wired in unique ways…it should go without saying that motivation is unique, too.

Here are two ideas that can help motivate – but remember that the application needs to be individualized to your staff’s personality.

1. Think win-win.
Motivate your staff by showing them how “doing X” (what you want) will benefit them (growth, efficiency, career growth, higher pay grade, bonus, opportunity, etc).

2. Show them the way.
Show them that career growth is a path…and that taking small “growth” steps every day will lead to a career that grows. Show them that you are on their side and want to help them grow. This attitude should help them to understand that when you want them to do something, you are helping both them AND the company.

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Posted in : Business Relationships, Business in China, Entrepreneurs

Eavesdropping: An Effective Business Skill

Tanya Crossman

Tanya Crossman

An effective on-the-job skill I’ve learned in China is summed up in one word: eavesdropping.

I listen to my colleagues across the room while they talk with each other or make business calls. Eavesdropping has increased my Chinese language skills and helped me better understand Chinese business culture.

Language

I came to China 6 years ago already able to read and write Chinese. My speaking and listening comprehension improved a lot through full time study and years of talking to taxi drivers, landlords, and shop assistants. It was eavesdropping, however, that polished my language skills to the point that, on the phone, most Chinese cannot tell that I am a foreigner.

When I am engaged in conversation, my brain is busy trying to understand what is said to me and formulate correct responses. When I eavesdrop, however, I can focus my attention on learning the patterns of speech my colleagues use – how they express things, what tone of voice they use, how their phrases flow. Mimicking these details makes my speech more natural, less like stilted textbook language.

Culture

Listening to one side of a conversation can tell you a lot. Often it’s quite clear what the party on the other end of the line is saying. By listening in when my co-workers are on the phone, I have learned a lot about the way they manage suppliers and contractors.

Listening in has taught me a lot about when they push, when they back pedal, and when they sweet talk. I’ve also learned a lot about the cadence of their conversations – the amount of general chitchat that happens, and when they get straight to business.

This has helped me even outside work – I find it much easier to negotiate in other areas, whether with rental contracts or just buying a pair of jeans. I have learned something of the game and how it’s played, and no longer take it personally.

Eavesdropping in this manner is effective because it is about listening. Listening to others builds understanding. Listening to my colleagues’ language, phone manner, and negotiation techniques – with the goal of understanding – has taught me valuable lessons about doing business in China.

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Posted in : Business in China

Building Relationships in a Cross-Cultural Work Environment through Storytelling

Tanya Crossman

Tanya Crossman

I have worked in our company’s Langfang office for two years. Langfang is a small city located halfway between Beijing and the port city of Tianjin.

Most of the staff have never lived anywhere bigger than Langfang; many live in villages outside town. Only one knows how to drive; the rest ride electric bicycles to work. Only one has ever been on an airplane.

The differences between their lives and mine are huge. I used to find those differences intimidating – how could I possibly connect with them in a meaningful way? Of course, as I discovered along the way, there are plenty of ways to connect.


Telling Stories

Storytelling has made a huge difference in my relationships with Chinese co-workers. I often feel awkward – afraid to step over cultural lines of propriety.  I’ve found that telling stories, however, softens them toward me as a person and encourages them to share their own stories in response.

One of my go-to conversation topics is family. I love my family and am proud of them – just like the ladies I work with. It doesn’t matter that my family lives in a different country and speaks a different language. When I talk about my sisters – what they’re doing, how proud I am – my co-workers listen and engage. This is something they understand.

Photos

Another tool I’ve used in building a friendly rapport with my Chinese colleagues is photos. The saying goes that “A picture paints a thousand words.” While I might be able to accurately describe a picture in a thousand English words, my Chinese is far from that level of eloquence. Photos also encourage questions, opening up interesting conversations about cultural differences. Photos I brought to work after returning from a wedding abroad, for example, began an interesting conversation about wedding traditions in different places.

My two goals in these storytelling endeavors are to focus on what our cultures have in common and promote understanding of the differences.

A story from my father’s first visit to Shanghai in 1983 illustrates this nicely. Seeing a mother with a young child, he took out a photo of me, indicating that he was also a parent. The photo soon made its way around a huge crowd of onlookers up and down the Bund! Their children looked different, but the role of a parent is universal – a shared similarity and a chance to understand differences – resulting in a moment of connection still remembered decades later.

I believe that this sort of storytelling has helped me be less the odd-foreigner-out. Instead, I’m just another person on the team.

What are your tactics in bridging the cross-cultural divide?

What stories do you have of positive cross-cultural interaction?

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Posted in : Business Relationships, Business in China, International Business

Constructive Confrontation

Jill Coyle

Jill Coyle

In my article, Confronting Conflict, I talked about some of the things I’d learned about dealing with conflict in the workplace, specifically in my role as a business owner and manager.

A comment from reader Alison Friedman got me thinking about what confrontation looks like when it is done well. She noted that my tips were all about what NOT to do. So, here are a few tips on WHAT to do when confronting – and HOW to do it.

Some things TO DO

1)      Take the bull by the horns

  • Say what needs to be said
  • Try to do it quickly (but not if you’re angry)
  • Do it in a caring way – i.e. This is for your good and the company’s good
  • Try to make it constructive – i.e., Here are some things you can work on, Here’s how to deal with this next time.

2)      Make people talk to each other

If there are squabbles between two colleagues, first try to get them to work it out together. I’ve found this extremely difficult in Chinese culture (talking about it means admitting a problem). If you must, sit with the two people and try to help them talk AND listen to each other.

3)      Do it every time

The last thing you want is for an employee to be making mistakes; meanwhile you’re watching and internally grumbling about it – but saying nothing. If you’re grumbling – you need to say something NOW. Because otherwise, it’ll all build up – and one day it’s going to explode (destructive rather than constructive).

How to confront in a constructive manner:

1)      TSF (Timely Specific Feedback)

A couple years ago, some friends were sharing about a concept they used within their organization – a concept called TSF. Timely – in that you tell people within a timely (or short) period. Specific – meaning, don’t say “Great job out there.” But say, “Hey, I liked it when you asked that question, because people really engaged and discussed it.”

  • TSF is for both positive AND negative feedback. And THE GREAT THING about giving positive TSF is that when the time comes for negative TSF, the person is much more likely to listen to you because there has been a build-up of trust and caring.

2)      Ask questions

You can ask questions about the situation or problem, the person’s current emotional status (things at home can affect things at work), happiness with his/her position, health, etc,

  • Sometimes gaining a better understanding of the situation or the background will help with the confronting process.

How do you give constructive feedback?
What do you think of the concept of TSF?
What have been responses when you’ve had to confront – did certain things make it better or worse?

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Posted in : Business Relationships, HR

A Lesson for Managers: Confronting Conflict

Jill Coyle

Jill Coyle

One difficult thing that I’ve faced as a business owner is dealing with conflict—especially in dealing with conflict within our team.

During our start-up phase 6 years ago, hiring staff that had superior industry knowledge was a daunting task in of itself; it was quite intimidating to be “new” at the business, yet also be the boss. Some of these employees had worked in their field since I was in middle school.

So when conflicts starting flaring up, I absolutely did not want to “have a talk” with them about their personality failings or lack of teamwork.

Not very confrontational in nature, I decided to hope the problems would go away (which of course they didn’t). And the cycles began of things escalating, me doing a dance around the issues (never confronting), then things calming down. And then the cycle would start again.

Another tactic I tried (rather than confrontation) was playing “peacemaker” between them – rather than making them deal with the problems themselves.

These two tactics – avoidance and peacemaker – didn’t work.

Long story short, here are a couple things I am (still) learning:

1)    Especially as the boss, I need to communicate clearly with an employee who is having a bad attitude or not being a teamplayer. Why? To continue to give clear definition and boundaries to that employee’s job description – and to let him/her know what is or isn’t acceptable behavior

2)    Not confronting affects everyone. People get confused if we say that teamwork is important, but then don’t confront the attitudes or behaviors that say teamwork isn’t important

3)    People don’t thrive in confusion. When people are confused about their job description or the expectations on them – there isn’t clarity to get the job done and there isn’t much personal growth.

4)    People need to deal with their own issues – and they need to deal with their inter-relational conflicts themselves. A little help or coaching from the boss is fine – but in the end, it is up to them to learn from their shortcomings and failures…or to move on.

A final word

Confrontation is just another kind of feedback. Make sure you are also giving positive feedback – otherwise, there will be little trust and acceptance during confrontation.

What are some lessons you’ve learned through conflict?
Have you found yourself intimidated by your employees (or colleagues)?
If so, how did you deal with conflict in those situations?

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Posted in : Business Relationships, Entrepreneurs, HR

Jill Coyle: Entrepreneur of the Year!

Jill Coyle is the People’s Choice Entrepreneur of the Year for 2010

Thursday May 27th was the annual Women in Business Leadership Awards. Jill Coyle was nominated as the Entrepreneur of the Year, and won the People’s Choice category. Thank you to everyone who voted for Jill!

Here are some photos from the event.

Jill gives her acceptance speech

Jill gives her acceptance speech

Jill poses with other award winners

Jill poses with other award winners

Jill and fellow award-winning entrepreneur Karen Patterson pose with their awards

Jill and fellow award-winning entrepreneur Karen Patterson pose with their awards

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Posted in : Community, Entrepreneurs

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